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Painful, yes. Difficult, yes. But do-able and often exciting. A no-brainer.What turned out to be the most challenging was to learn what Michael wanted when he couldn't express it. I had to be able to anticipate his needs, without having to ask him.So many times I would kneel at his feet, open up his zipper and start sucking his penis, only to have nothing happen. Or worse, to have him brush me away. "Not now," he would say."When?" I would ask."I don't know, just not now."It was frustrating, and the first thing I had to learn was how not to sulk. I was his, after all, and I was learning how to understand his moods and needs, not the other way around. So if it wasn't right for him, then that had to be okay with me, no matter what.So fine. I learned to be calm and accepting of anything he wanted or didn't want. It took a while, but gradually Michael learned he could be honest with me without fear of some feminine backlash, and that I wouldn't be hurt if he was just 'not interested'.I was. I thought their only chance was going to be to catch a lot of them still on the ground otherwise our fighters were going to be greatly outnumbered and our Dropships would be attacked. We had upgraded and increased the weaponry on the Mules but still there were not enough to take on that number.What made the waiting even worse was that I had no battle station when we were attacked. I just had to wait like many of the others while things went on around me that I had absolutely no control over. That's enough to give a person ulcers.We had heard from the Davions that they had taken out many of the fighters and had only received light damage during their drop. We still didn't know what forces the Davion's were taking in on the drop or what they had encountered at their drop point. The pirate fighters hit us just before we entered the atmosphere. There were five Air Lances of Sholagars and four of Shilones for eighteen fighters. It was not as bad as it could have been but it was bad.
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